A Stupid Runs Through It

People who know me know that I don't care, in general, for people. By that, I mean stupid, annoying, wish-they-would-die type people. You know, the average person walking down the street. I'm not an angry person by nature, but my blood runs hot whenever I encounter these types. I'm not saying that I'm the smartest person. Trust me, I've done a lot of stupid things in my life. It's just they are few and far between, not a lifetime. Bragging and pride aside, I do consider myself an intelligent individual - a mix of both book and street smarts. But there are people who have absolutely none of either one. To quote George Carlin:

"Some people are really fucking stupid! Did you ever notice that? How many really stupid people you run into during the day? Goddamn theres a lot of stupid bastards walking around. Carry a little pad and pencil with you. You'll wind up with thirty or forty names by the end of the day. Look at it this way think of how stupid the average person is and then realize that half of them are stupider than that. And it doesn't take you very long to spot one of them does it? Take you about eight seconds. You'll be listening to some guy, you say, 'this guy is fucking stupid!'"

Bill Engvall figured out a solution to the problem:

"Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, 'I'm Stupid.' That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything. It would be like, 'Excuse me . . . oops . . . never mind, didn't see your sign.'"

I've worked almost my entire life in the food and beverage industry, as a bartender and manager. I've encountered a lot of stupid customers . . . and they were never right. Never! As it turns out, I'd rather spend time with my dogs than with most people. Dogs are wickedly innocent - they know they peed in the house, I know they peed in the house. But they scrunch up their face, put their head down or roll over to have their belly rubbed, and that anger goes away. People aren't like that, they aren't as repentant.

I'm not completely soured on people though. Anyone who knows me knows that when it comes to friends - true friends - I am loyal and encouraging to the bone. I'd take a bullet for most of my closest friends. That's how deep my friendship runs. That's also why I have a close-knit, core group of friends that most people don't - most of us have known each other since elementary/junior high, and we all share the same attitudes. There is an unbreakable bond between us that has long been established. That sort of trust is earned, not just given. But I don't trust a majority of people. Maybe it comes from watching too much "CSI" or "Law & Order"-type shows, but I'm guarded and suspicious toward others by nature. Ever watch those "Autopsy" shows?! For the most part, I think people are evil, and if left to their own vices would do the worst rather than strive for their best simply because they could.

That's why I hate people. Especially the stupid ones.

©2006 Steve Sagarra