Ok, right up front I'll tell you this will sound crazy . . .
For the past few years, I have encountered some strange occurrences. It all started with the clock, and the time. Whenever I looked to see what time it was, and being completely unaware of the time, it would read either 2:22 or 3:43. It's actually hard to explain what exactly I mean by this, but it's sort of like that "every time I look at the clock it reads 11:11" thing. For example, I'd be sleeping and suddenly wake up, looking at the clock to see the time. And it would read 2:22. Then the next day, or maybe a few days later, I would wonder about the time, and it would be the same as the previous day/night - in this case 2:22. The first few times this happened I simply dismissed it as coincidence, pure happenstance that both times I looked had the exact same time. But then it kept repeating, occurring over and over again. So, I began wondering if there was some meaning to these numbers, perhaps a cosmic/karmic connection and/or sign (yeah, I know . . . crazy!). I still don't know, but it does freak me out to think that maybe there is something more to it than just coincidence (or maybe I just watch too much "Lost," which deals with such mysterious "coincidences").
Anyway, akin to this numbers situation is one that involves movies. I'll be talking about a movie, sometimes one that I have not seen in a bazillion years . . . and later that day/night it will be on! Seriously, one night I was flipping channels and this old movie that never, I mean NEVER, gets shown was on one of the classics channels . . . and I had just been wondering about it earlier in the day! Just yesterday I was talking to my sister about James Bond movies, specifically "Die Another Day." Without a doubt, it was on later that night. Is this just some bizarre coincidence?!
If that's not enough, I have more. A few weeks ago, I was in the car with some friends. And let's be honest - it was late, we had been drinking. That said, I made a sarcastic comment about maybe hearing some Nelly, or even some Kelly Clarkson. Not even a second later, what comes on the radio? That's right . . . Nelly. The next song? You guessed it . . . Kelly Clarkson. I mean, right after I make a joke about it, both Nelly and Kelly Clarkson get played one after the other on the radio. They are not even in the same music genre! How did my "friends" (and they know who they are!) react? Completely dismissed it, as if it were an everyday occurrence. Well, that was it for me. I freaked out, mostly due to the circumstances already described above. I couldn't dismiss it so easily.
As I've said, I really don't know if any of it means anything. It could just be bizarre coincidence, or it could be something beyond current understanding. Or maybe I'm just crazy, imagining it all in my head by putting value on something that has none. Does anyone have an idea?
Alright, I've shared my weirdness . . . now I'm going to go find a doctor to get some pills before someone calls the men in white coats that have rubberized rooms for such things.
©2006 Steve Sagarra
1) The Korean War lasted 11 seasons, yet had one Easter, Halloween, and Thanksgiving, five winters/Christmases and two New Years. (M*A*S*H)
2) No matter how many warnings, criminals always choose the hard way. (Walker: Texas Ranger)
3) If you have Friends, everyone knows your name at the local coffee shop (or bar). (Friends & Cheers)
4) No matter the odds & situation, no one will get hurt . . . and the plan will always succeed. (A-Team)
5) Seeking out new life and new civilizations means boldly going where no one has gone before. (Star Trek)
6) No matter how many conspiracies one debunks and exposes, more always exist - and you cannot trust anyone. (X-Files)
7) Even if you are a POW, you can still carry out secret missions and keep the enemy from succeeding at every turn (while making them look like bumbling fools). (Hogan's Heroes)
8) Mundane moments may be subtly about nothing, but can demonstrate the inanities of everyday life - close talkers, man hands, face painters, shrinkage, regifters, being master of one's domain, yada yada yada . . . (Seinfeld)
9) Obstructing, hiding or destroying evidence matters very little - because they can test for it. (CSI)
10) Sometimes, it really does only take a pocket knife & duct tape. (MacGyver)
©2006 Steve Sagarra
I was watching Wicker Park last night, which, no, does not have John Cusack in it. But it made me think to Serendipity, which does. And that triggered some thoughts . . .
At times, I feel like Lloyd Dobler standing in front of Diane's house blaring a shared moment. Only to realize I'm at the wrong house. Yeah, I've written that letter. I wrote it in 8th grade, and again - metaphorically and real - on several occasions years later. Half of me wishes those "letters" never existed, destroyed by the same flames that fanned their sentiment. Each time thinking it was "that moment." Each time realizing the futility, never learning my lesson. Fortunately, futility outweighs regret. Had those letters never existed, that's exactly what would have come to pass - never having said what needed to be, even if it meant rejection and loss. Never knowing, always wondering.
However, it does seem that every story since is a composite version of that first time. But, sometimes you just have to draw the line at the unrequited. Perhaps that's the swift kick to the head that alters things forever - sitting alone, your whole life flashing before your eyes. I don't know. Does anyone know? Because I've listened to my gut in the past, and quite frankly my guts have shit for brains.
Once you get the shit beat out of you, your heart does mend and move on - thats the function of pain and heartache. The universe lets you go through that to come out to a better place. Does one listen to the thousands and thousands of songs about heartbreak, rejection, pain and loss to enhance an already fragile state, or does the misery simply resonate from the music with which we identify because of that emotional state? Do you need just someone, or do you need that certain someone? And are they calling off their wedding and heading to the park, where you now wait for them to show up?
©2006 Steve Sagarra
