Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Something Wicked This Way Cometh?

Six possible explanations for recent weather/seismic activity:

1. Nothing more than natural occurrences. Boring. (And don’t say man-made global warming is the cause. Earth has been volatile for billions of years, long before humanity came along. We as a species only wish we were important enough to be an influence. Either way…boring.)

2. The Apocalypse. Now we are talking Michael Bay action flick:  the planet consumed by and in the throes of an extinct-level event, people panicking in mass hysteria as society collapses, and utter destruction with stuff blowing up. Not to mention one lone guy in his bunker waiting for it all to calm down, so he can have some peace and quiet for a change without people annoying him every second of every day. Plus, there’s stuff blowing up. ‘Nuff said.

3. Time travel. According to Timecop, a time travel device could cause seismic disturbances. After all, you are breaking through the space-time continuum; there must be planetary/universal consequences for doing so. However, this scenario we really do not want, because it could mean someone is going back in time and potentially screwing up the timeline. Making for a bad commute to work…if you even still exist. (And yes, I quoted a Van Damme movie.)

4. Stargate program. Certainly not to mean the movie and three subsequent series spawned from it? Nothing but propaganda to disinform the public concerning the program. Classic subterfuge. Duh. The stargate is shown to cause seismic disturbances and climate anomalies when activated. This is the scenario we want, because it means traveling to other worlds and possibly gathering advanced technology. Technology that is gradually rolled out by the likes of Bill Gates and Steve Jobs. Again, classic subterfuge.

5. A weather machine. For nefarious purposes, an entity – either government-sponsored or terrorist-linked – has invented a weather machine. Crazy, like something out of a superhero cartoon or James Bond novel? Perhaps. Conceivable? Absolutely, given our technological advances [see #4] and understanding of weather patterns and seismic activity. This one is kind of a cool scenario on the surface, but quickly dissolves once the realization hits that there is no superhero or James Bond to thwart them.

6. Alien invasion. This one may prove Scientology correct, or not, and the volcano-encased essences of thetans – from the Galactic Confederacy ruled by the tyrant Xenu – who seek to do harm against humanity. Or something like that. Again, a scenario we do not want, all of us non-believers (e.g. sane people) having to eat crow. Battlefield Earth? God help us…and not your “god” L. Ron.

©2011 Steve Sagarra

No comments:

Post a Comment