Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Adversity, and the Travails of Modernity

As a red-blooded American of the US of A, I am a fan of football. American football. Good old-fashioned gridiron brutality (that is, until rule changes against such things in the name of safety; the "No Fun League," as they say.). In that tradition, I have been involved in the stressful frustrating entertaining side business of fantasy football for many years. And a funny thing happened this past Sunday night - ESPN's fantasy website crashed in the midst of a contested game between the Denver Broncos and Indianapolis Colts. As such, social media blew up about the matter with helpful angry suggestions toward the sports media icon. I myself was in a close game against my opponent, keeping a watchful eye on both scores of the real and fantasy game, but found it only inconvenient that I could no longer access my fantasy team.

To read numerous comments by others (and a few by my fellow fantasy brethren) on social media, though, one would have thought the apocalypse had occurred. I mean, how are we supposed to watch, and moreover enjoy, a game by only watching the game?!! What is this...the "dark ages" of the 20th century? No, this is the 21st century by God or the heavens fall!

And this is how I know that no matter what barbarism tries to take hold in the world, the modern world will not allow it. It will, and it must, stamp out whatever menace arises from whatever corner of the globe that threatens it. ESPN's server was down for less than an hour, and a revolt almost ensued (albeit, only online most likely); what do you think would happen if forces opposed to such modernity attempted to permanently take it away? There would be full-fledged revolution (no less, from basements and mancaves across America) the likes of which has never been seen!

Russia and China may rekindle Cold War hostilities, Iran and North Korea may pose nuclear threats and Islamic extremists may slaughter us...but good luck inconveniencing our modern convenience. Only then shall it be a call to arms! As Hollywood's versions of Wyatt Earp or William Wallace might proclaim, "You called down the thunder! You may take our lives, but you'll never take our MTV!" (Or something...who should I start at running back this week?)

©2014 Steve Sagarra

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