Friday, July 1, 2011

Since Days Gone By

My 20th high school reunion is in a few weeks. Surreal not only from feeling so far removed from that period, but because I do not feel that old. I also know how much I and the world in general has changed since even the 10th reunion. Nowadays, I think in terms of “pre-” and “post-”:  ten years ago, it was a pre-9/11 world; today, and probably forever, it is a post-9/11 one. (Presumably, a similar mindset will come to pass after December 21, 2012, in a pre- and post-apocalyptic world, but that’s for a later discussion.)

Though an enjoyable evening reconnecting with old classmates, I admittedly was at a crossroads at the ten year reunion. A defining juncture in that I had ended any intentions of pursuing a teaching career, and had only just entered graduate school and barely commenced a writing career. In essence, despite the paths that were open to me rather than closed, I was in a state of limbo about my life. Having continued on that path and accomplished much over the last ten years – becoming a published journalist, historian and writer – oddly I am feeling the same a decade later. In a different, post-9/11 way though; not so na├»ve or optimistic, more chagrined and disillusioned.

Again though, I do not feel all that changed. After all, I am still me. Perhaps more grown and experienced, as opposed to more mature and responsible, yet at times regressing back. My smug, almost pseudo, intellectualism alone a pretense for the dictates of my age and educational achievements, in the attempt to allay doubt as to my faculties only because I believe myself to be smarter than I was ten or twenty years ago. I still do stupid things though, only at a more sophisticated level of stupidity because, rather than in spite, of my self-alleged superior development both intellectually and socially.

The real question bothering me I think, more so than at the ten year, is whether there still exists a sense of commonality, and perhaps even a familiarity, with former classmates of yesterday who have now become the parents, educators and business leaders of today? As I fit into none of those categories, yes and no; it all sounds impressively mature and responsible. Absolutely, I still cherish the friendships that have endured, and have been reconnected, over the past twenty years. Just seems that it already has been a complex journey since days gone by, and an extensive path ahead yet to traverse – without any clear indication how or when that occurred.

©2011 Steve Sagarra

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