Dexter Series Finale

Tonight, another series I have watched since the first episode ends. Unlike LOST, there seems a better consensus among viewers that it will end terribly. As in bad. As in terribly bad. As in “not much hope since Season Five, Seasons Six and Seven were horrible and Season Eight has been up but mostly down” bad. Certainly, awful dialogue, character stupidity and idiotic plotholes in the latest episodes leading up to this series finale definitely heighten the anticipation of disappointment. Oddly, if not sadly, from a series that was so masterful at storytelling and character development in its first few seasons.

That said, here are ways Dexter should, but probably will not, end:

#1 – “The ‘Happy’ Ending”

Dexter doesn’t leave Miami in order to continue his “work” as an anti-hero serial killer. Thanks to the events of this season, though – which not so subtly have pointed to this outcome – he no longer feels the overall desire to kill as before, having found balance with his “Dark Passenger.” Hannah McKay either ends up captured or leaving Miami without him, and the Miami Metro police continue being aloof and inept as ever before. The End.

#2 – “The Expected Ending”

Dexter finally is caught as the “Bay Harbor Butcher.” Hannah, still angry with Dexter for turning her in to authorities last season, is caught, but turns evidence against Dexter as the BHB to save herself. [Yet, with the ineptitude of the detectives who have investigated him who either stopped (Quinn) or ended up dead (Doakes; LaGuerta), this is not likely.] Debra, discovering Dexter has been charged as the BHB thanks to Hannah, leaves the hospital (from being shot the previous episode), kills her and disposes of her body a la Dexter…continuing his “work.” [See #3]

#3 – “The Twist Ending”

Dexter, and maybe Hannah, ends up on the table of another serial killer, possibly another disciple of Dr. Evelyn Vogel who also follows “The Code” – and who has been hunting Dexter for his serial killing from day one! Dexter either is killed or ends up killing said fellow disciple, deciding to stay in Miami because he still has “work” to do. [See #1]

#4 – “The Wild Things Ending”

Hannah and Jacob Elway have been working together in a long con for the reward money for her capture. She screws over Dexter, meeting up with Elway in Argentina. At some point, Hannah and Niki Walters (Masuka’s “daughter”) – who is in on the con as well – have a steamy sex scene in a pool. Miami Metro police, as usual, yet again are dumbfounded in their aloof ineptitude at solving any of it.

#5 – “The Scooby-Doo Ending”

Niki Walters, Astor Bennett, Cody Bennett, Harrison Morgan and Harrison’s stuffed dog toy (the bloodied one Dexter said had been “lost”) cruise Miami in Dexter’s SUV, solving the entire series. Turns out, it was “Old Man” Deputy Chief Tom Matthews who really was doing all the serial killing in disguise…and he would have gotten away with it too if not for those meddling kids!

©2013 Steve Sagarra